Lofty Thoughts on Processing Loss

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It is hard to know the path of a human life. The same person that is stuck in a perpetual pattern that seems destructive is the one that can offer solace and pure wisdom when we are in difficulty.
The Buddhists say that we are here to learn and evolve. Human birth is a precious gift that is earned through many lives during which we may have done one act of kindness that vaulted us into the opportunity to be human. It is only by being human can we have the free choice to work for the benefit of others.
A human life is very uneven. One person who unkind or ruthless in business can be personally charitable and loving and vice versa. When a person passes from the human realm, there is a tendency for the people left behind to idealize them or fault them to create distance between the person and themselves.
Finding the good from a person's existence is good as long as you understand their flaws and the lessons that they were able to teach you. It is best if you are left with the goodness of your loved one and not the difficulty you suffered with them. If you are stuck with only the negative effect they had on your life, it is important to feel compassion for the suffering that they must have been in to do harm to you. Only through this can you move to a position of understanding.
When a friend dies it is an opportunity to reflect and grow. My ruminations here are one way of processing the loss. It is a reminder to me that each day needs to be appreciated and those around you need to know how much you love them.


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